Tag: Analyze’s Diary

Analyze’s Diary – Entry 7: Silence of the Kitties

  Dear reader, it has been an ordeal like no other that has ever been experienced in the history of the universe. The multiverse! The omniverse! I have attempted to deafen myself several times, sadly the spoon didn’t fit in my ear. And it has sullied all the forks with its spittum. My mother has …

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Analyze’s Diary – Entry 6: Return to Sender… With a Bill

  A siren blared in the distance. It had finally come. My salvation had finally come! No longer would I be tormented by its inane pratteling! No longer would I be subject to its ear-piercing puns! My earmuffs had long since fallen apart, corrupted and rotten they had sloughed off my ears. Letting out the …

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Analyze’s Diary – Entry 5: Message in a Soda Can

  To whomever finds the ice tea can in which this note is hidden. I have been kidnapped by a creature most foul. It has been more than a month since it grabbed me from my bed and in that time it has not left my room. Food is becoming scarce as it has eaten …

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Analyze’s Diary – Entry 4: Maddius, Horror of the Deep

  Twas a beautiful whenever-the-hell-this-was morning. It felt like a month had passed since I had rid myself of the abomination. I woke up. Birds chirping. The warm rays of the sun caressing my naked, naked body. I opened my eyes, hoping to see the sunlight glistening off of the waterfall outside of my window. …

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Important Schedule Change!

Dearest Twitterers, Twitterettes and Facebookees, From now on the “Critique Geeks” segment where I (Analyze) and Maddius go at each other will go from being bi-weekly to monthly (i.e. one Critique Geeks each month). The same goes for the diaries associated with these episodes. We hope this will give us the space to put them …

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Analyze’s Diary – Entry 3: Analyze Unchained

  It had been many weeks since my last confrontation with the beast. But I couldn’t get it out of my mind. I lay awake at night, thinking. When I did manage to fall asleep, it haunted my nightmares. He had ruined, RUINED my perfect ending. I had to have vengeance. RETRIBUTION! So I figured …

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Analyze’s Diary – Entry 2: A Way Too Unexpected Journey

  With the final season of Game of Thrones coming and my website finally launching, I knew my first article simply had to be about Game of Thrones. Unfortunately, though I’d come up with a perfectly witty ending, actually writing the article had proven a lot more… well, difficult than I’d imagined. There had been …

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Analyze’s Diary – Entry 1: Essential Amazing Analyze, Vol. 1

  Step by step I moved towards the shop where my, no doubt phenominal, destiny awaited. Though I wished I could go bound by bound instead. I was so excited. But unlike some rather unscrupulous and undisciplined songwriters I managed to hide it quite well. I was finally going to start my own website. A …

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We Are… Not Yet Live!

My dearest reader, if you are reading this then you have found our website. Congratulations, you must be very proud of yourself. I would give you a cookie, but my partner ate them all… Analytical Madness is currently still under development and has not yet officially launched. So if you find that our articles appear …

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