Today was a momentous day in a whole life of fun days. It has been the day where Analyze and I took our friendship to the next level. We became real roommates! Besties who spend every waking moment with each other! I can only hope that Analyze loves this almost as much as I’m adoring the hiffle out of it!
It all happened while I was talking to a good friend of mine. As I told my friend Mister Pinky Pig, exploring the semantic implications of the premise that if you add certain qualities to the chemical make-up of the subject matter you will come to a conclusion that is not only very conclusive, but also indicative of the epistemological nature of the types of experiments you have to perform to understand this type of nuance. It’s something Descartes worked on, I told Mister Pinky Pig while I was passing the tea to Honest Raccoon-chan. When the philosopher was creating new mathemathical equations and I am willing to bet my left arm that he was keeping this in mind. You see, it turns out that if you bake toast it does indeed become brown.
Noticing how Analyze was looking at his tea cup, I asked Mister Pinky Pig to pass some sugar. But Analyze didn’t like Mister Pinky Pig so he burned Mister Pinky Pig in the oven. Luckily I managed to save Mister Pinky Pig. Now he doesn’t look so pinky anymore. But don’t worry, I will never let him die such a gruesome death, as he’s my one true dinner.
As I was taking care of my dear friend/dinner there was a knock on the door. My bestie Analyze, ever the sociable chap, immediately jumped up and gave the happiest yelp I’ve ever heard. A respectable member of the police force entered the room and the following conversation took place:
“Yes”, Analyze screeched womanly.
“Littering is illegal, sir. Here’s your ice tea can.” The police person threw the can back at Analyze. Analyze lunged backwards, holding hands in front of him. His body slowed down in time, went into slow-motion and his head went backwards, as if he were dodging a volley of bullets. Then the ice tea can hit his lip and then it fell on the ground.
“That’ll be 10.000 euros and I’ll see you in court.” After that he winked at me and went back outside.
Well that wasn’t very nice. But worry not dear diary, I immediately ran after the cop, telling Analyze-chan not to worry as I closed the door behind me. I had a wonderful chat with the man. Really nice guy. So sad what happened to his tailor last time he ordered new clothes. It’s a noodle incident. He ate lots of noodles, you see. Anyway, we managed to come to an agreement. I just gave him my own house as payment for the fine and as settlement for the court and he told me he’d eat a donut to my health. After a few more minutes of respectable handshaking, I went back to my new room and told Analyze the good news. He and I would become roommates!
To read the related Critique Geeks episode click here.
To read my wonderful new roommate’s perspective click here.