It had been many weeks since my last confrontation with the beast. But I couldn’t get it out of my mind. I lay awake at night, thinking. When I did manage to fall asleep, it haunted my nightmares. He had ruined, RUINED my perfect ending. I had to have vengeance. RETRIBUTION! So I figured out the perfect plan. I would lure him to my house with another chance to torture me. The exertion of talking would surely drain him and the many stairs drench him in sweat. He would want a drink. A drink which I would provide. I laced his ice tea with Grandma’s Homemade Chloroform and waited. Oh gods, how I waited, reader. But despite his voracious appetite the drink did nothing to him. The review was almost over. I had to act fast. So, ever the brilliant thinker, I smashed him over the head with a heavy object. I chained him and dragged him across the street to the ever-so-conveniently-placed river outside of my house. I threw him in and I finally felt free. In my benevolent merciful lovely kindness, I dedicate the following review (which I completely wrote by myself) to his (horrifying) memory.
To read the related Critique Geeks episode click here.