Analyze’s Diary – Entry 3: Analyze Unchained

 

Muhahahahaing and all that.

The ultimate revenge! Also, buy Grandma’s Homemade Chloroform now for only 5,99 and get rid of YOUR enemies just as easily.

It had been many weeks since my last confrontation with the beast. But I couldn’t get it out of my mind. I lay awake at night, thinking. When I did manage to fall asleep, it haunted my nightmares. He had ruined, RUINED my perfect ending. I had to have vengeance. RETRIBUTION! So I figured out the perfect plan.

I would lure him to my house with another chance to torture me. The exertion of talking would surely drain him and the many stairs drench him in sweat. He would want a treat. A treat which I would provide.

I laced his ice cream with Grandma’s Homemade Chloroform and waited. Oh gods, how I waited, reader. But despite his voracious appetite the food did nothing to him. The episode was almost over! I had to act fast. So, ever the brilliant thinker, I smashed him over the head with a heavy object.

I chained him and dragged him across the street to the ever-so-conveniently-placed river outside of my house. I threw him in and I finally felt the sweet taste of freedom again. It tasted like chocolate ice cream.

In my benevolent merciful lovely kindness, I dedicate the resulting Critique Geeks (which I actually wrote completely by myself) to his (horrifying) memory.

Wait… why did freedom taste like chocolate ic-

 

To read the related Critique Geeks episode click here.

To read the lovely Maddius’ perspective, may his soul rest in eternal peace (emphasis on the eternal), click here.

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